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Hey, Folks! Gunner’s the name and cuteness is my game.  Shay wasn’t in the mood to write a blog today so I’ll take a crack at it. I’m 14, I’m a Dachshund with no teeth and a big tongue. He told me to write about how I see CF.

Honestly, I don’t really understand it, like most humans. All I can tell you is he’s my Pops, and he does a lot of weird stuff. Like as soon as he gets up, he takes me out to go use the bathroom, then he gets something out of the fridge, I don’t know what it is but it’s never food... Then I go back to bed while he straps himself in this giant harness with 2 leashes that blows up with air while he smokes that stuff he got from the refrigerator. I always wish it smelled like vanilla pipe tobacco, but it never does. He does this for half an hour.

After he takes a shower, he sticks a needle into his side. This guy is a glutton for punishment. Then we go to work, which is like an 8ft commute since he works from home most days. Then while he sits at the computer as I nod off again, he blows into this green thing that looks like a zucchini. Or beats on his chest like a gorilla. Sometimes this makes him cough really hard. So hard that the vibration wakes me up, which is crazy because I’m deaf.

He tells me we need to exercise more, so I help him do that by acting like I want to go up and down the stairs all the time, and since I’m a Dachshund he has to carry me. That’s not always an easy task. I have what the vets call a “bit of a weight problem,” but I prefer, “big boned.” Or I’ll act like I just have to go out to use the bathroom but then take off down the street and make him chase me. I don’t care if he’s barefoot in his pajamas and its 20 degrees. I’ll make him get his exercise one way or the other.

Then there’s all those pills he takes after he eats. Weird stuff, folks. But then again I don’t wear any pants and drag my butt on the carpet. We all have our vices.

Then, he does the harness again at night and smokes 2 different things out of the water pipe and coughs some more. Somebody should really tell him that is bad for his health. He gets upset when UPS has an issue and he can’t get his stuff. He freaks out if he misses one session…that guy is seriously addicted.

I’m glad I’ve got him and my mom. I didn’t have a family for most of my life, but when I saw those suckers come to the shelter a few years ago I turned the cuteness up to 11. It’s all about the head placement. I don’t really know what CF is, but it makes him do a lot of stuff I’ve never seen before. I’ve been around and I’ve seen it all, but that guy is patient and disciplined. Those are good traits folks. I’ve heard most people with CF are like that. If they all were immediately cured, I bet they would like rule the world or something.


Gotta go…typing with paws is exhausting. 
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