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Rocky Mountain High

 

"Because in the end, you won't remember the time you spent working in the office or mowing your lawn. Climb that GD mountain"--Jack Kerouac

In 50 years, nothing you are doing right now is going to matter. In all likelihood, you and I will both be gone and long forgotten, simply a conglomeration of some ancient particles that were together for a short time, constituting a bag of cells and waste with an expiration date.

 

All that matters is right now. Yes, it’s a cliché, but recently after a head clearing trip to Wyoming and Montana, it finally made sense. While there I realized how totally small and insignificant we all are. Spaces and skies so big they literally split your mind into two halves: before and after.

 

Upon returning, I set out to redefine what was important. I work a fairly high stress job for someone with CF, 10-11 hour days, impacting incredible amounts of money and the livelihoods of others on top of CF while hardly ever taking a day off. One time I went 7 years without a week off. Yes, I’m lucky I was able to do that, but I shouldn’t have.

 

Truly all that matters are your spouse, those 2 or 3 real friends, and access to a good CF clinic and meds. As long as you have those and aren’t in prison, you are a winner. This may sound like defeat to some, but I prefer to see it as a moment of clarity. If you feel good, everything else is crap. Trust me. And that is the only thing you should strive for. In all likelihood, college will be a waste in the 21st century if you haven’t already realized that. But if you want to do it, by all means hit it with everything you have. Just realize that it’s a gamble. Seek jobs based solely on their medical insurance. Income is cute but it shouldn’t be your primary focus. As long as you live in a climate controlled structure that’s dry and can afford food, you are golden.


Recently, issues have arisen that will likely prevent me from continuing the life changing drug, Trikafta. All those months I felt better than I ever had, I was stuck behind dual monitors with my eyes bugging out with my wife wondering if I was ever going to come downstairs. Months wasted. What I wouldn’t give for that time back.


If you are in a situation that is robbing you of good vibes, look for a way out or drastically improve it like your life depends on it. Because it does. 


The sun is burning out, money is fake and we’re all gonna die.



Peace and hair grease, y’all.


Comments

  1. Well written Shay. I agree with you whole heartedly. Live life everyday.

    ReplyDelete

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